Draco Malfoy and the Wonders of Pregnancy
by HarmoniousSilence
Summary: HPDM MPREG! FOUL LANUGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD! Draco gets pregnant and Harry is left to put up with his often moody husband who is either craving weird foods or throwing a tantrum about how fat he is. ONESHOT


"Go away Potter." Draco said annoy-idly to his husband pushing his head away.

"Don't get all pissy, I just wanted a kiss." Harry said rolling his eyes.

"And you wanted to get in my pants. Frankly I'd like to keep them on today." Draco said still annoyed and getting up to go to the kitchen.

"Don't say it like it's such an awful thing. What's up your arse anyways?" Harry said following Draco into their kitchen.

"Not your cock." Draco replied, his voice laced with poison.

"Yah, I know it's right here in my pants since you're cock blocking me which isn't very nice you know..." He said sauntering over and wrapping his arms around Draco's voice. "You'll have to pay for it." He continued his voice getting husky.

"I said go away." Draco said pushing him away again, this time walking away from his husband and heading to their bedroom.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." Harry said following him.

This caused Draco to turn around, "Exactly! You never notice everything you're just always thinking about sex or something as equally idiotic! I do so much shit around here and I don't even get a thanks! I get a 'let me stuck my cock up your ass'! Well that isn't fucking good enough! And you know what you try having it up your ass one time it hurts!" Draco yelled, then promptly turned on his heel and went into the bedroom slamming the door before Harry could enter.

Harry knocked on the door, "Draco I'm sorry."

"Shut up." Came the reply.

"Come on babe let me in." Harry pleaded.

"No." Came the venomous reply.

"Babe..." Harry started to say but was immediately cut off

"Leave me alone you fucking prick!"

Harry sighed and walked back to the family room taking out a blanket and pillow making himself comfortable before yelling.

"Night Draco! Love you!"

Which was promptly answered by a 'Go fuck yourself!'

Harry debated jacking off in front of the door but just came to the conclusion Draco would get more pissed and that wasn't something he wanted.

Harry woke up the next day releasing Draco had already left for work. He grunted and managed to wake himself up and get himself off to work barley on time. However the whole time his mind seemed to be else where and his auror partner Ron seemed to notice.

"What's up mate?" Ron said swiveling his desk around to face Harry.

"Draco's pissed at me, said I don't notice what he does or something like that." Harry said sighing.

"Oh it's one of those fights..." Ron said.

"Wait what?" Harry said confused.

"Basically," Ron explained "They get all pissed because they think you don't appreciate them. But the solutions easy, just like cook dinner. That always works, as long as it looks like you put effort into it. Doesn't mean you do, it just has to look like it. Maybe get them something too if you need the bonus points. I usually just get 'Mione jewelry."

Harry stared at Ron, "It's that easy?" He asked.

"Yup, works every time." Ron said nodding.

"In that case see you tomorrow, consider me un-cock blocked." Harry said gathering his things and leaving the office.

That's exactly what he did, he stopped and got some food, an expressive winter peacoat that was lined with mink, some rose petals and he got home he set himself to that task of cooking and getting ready. Sprinkling rose petals on the bed lighting candles and making sure there was enough lube, harry was fairly certain he was getting it in tonight.

Draco came home and walked through the door and was greeted by a 'Welcome home babe' and Harry's arm latched themselves around his waist.

"What...?" Draco said a little confused. The lights were dimmed a home cooked meal on the table and rose petals leading to the bedroom.

"I thought I'd show you how much I appreciate you."

"I'm going to throw-up." Was Draco's response and he immediately took off towards the bathroom, leaving his stunned husband standing there.

Draco made it just in time and started throwing up into the toilet.

Harry followed him and sat beside him on the floor, rubbing his back.

"Babe what's wrong?" Harry asked concerned he had done something wrong.

"I dunno I feel like someone just punched me in the stomach." He said throwing up again.

"Want me to take you to St Mungo's?" Harry asked.

Draco just nodded.

"Come on then up you go." Harry said helping his husband to his feet and taking Draco's arm and pulling it around his shoulder. Even he had to admit Draco didn't look good, his face looked flushed and his eyes were wincing in pain.

They flooed to St Mungo's where Draco promptly passed out.

He awoke on a bed and Harry stroking his hand.

"Harry?" Draco asked, his eyes fluttering open.

"I'm here babe." Harry said gently stroking his husbands head.

"What...?" He asked.

"You passed out."

"Why?" Draco asked

"I don't know the healer will be in soon." Harry said, trying to conceal his worry.

Then the door opened and a slightly elder man entered.

"Are you Draco Malfoy-Potter?" The man asked looking at Draco, who nodded his head.

"Ah, I'm Healer Rondol."

"Well, what's wrong with him? Why'd he pass out? He'll be fine right?" Harry said in a jumble.

Rondol chuckled.

"I'd be happy to explain what's going on here. So while you were out we came to the unified conclusion after quite a few tests that you, Draco Malfoy-Potter, are indeed pregnant."

Draco and Harry looked at the healer, shell shocked.

"It should seem that you both wanted a child so bad that you're magic made it possible. How we don't know, but this has happened in a few rare incidents before and the children were born healthy and full term. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have."

"What the fuck?" Draco said.

"I don't believe that counts as a question." Rondol said.

"Harry..." Draco said looking up at him, a mixture of fear and happiness in his eyes.

"I know." Harry said, the same emotions in his eyes.

"Do you want me to give you two a moment?" The healer asked.

Draco just shook his head yes, tears welling up in his eyes.

"What are we going to do?" Draco's voice broke and tears feel from his eyes.

"My friends, my parents everyone's going to shun me, and the baby? I got drunk a few nights ago what if I hurt it? What if it dies? What if I'm no a good father? Am I even a father?"

"It'll be alright. Everything will be fine. We have each other, and a new one." Harry said smiling down at Draco. He snuck a glance at Draco's belly.

"I...like the name Amarissa." Draco said wiping away his tears.

"It's a pretty name." Harry agreed trying to soothe his distraught husband.

"Merlin, we don't even have a house...or a room for her...we don't even know how to change diapers." Draco said sitting up. Harry got up from the chair and sat beside his husband on the bed.

"Well, I love you and he or she...I think that might just be all we need." Harry said kissing his husband on the cheek.

Draco smiled, "You sappy Gryffindor...Can we go home now?"

"Of course, I am Harry Potter after all."

"I know, I wouldn't have married anyone else." Draco said sweetly.

Month: 1

"No! Don't you dare!" Harry said to his husband taking the beer right out of his hand.

"Oops sorry. I forgot." Draco said a little embarrassed how could he forget. He was pregnant. He looked down at his belly, but he couldn't notice a damned thing.

"So how long 'till I start showing?" Draco asked poking his stomach. He honestly never thought he'd ever get pregnant.

"Damned if I know." Harry replied. He was sitting in the living room watching TV and drinking the beer he'd stolen from Draco.

"We should get books or something." Draco said still poking his stomach curiously.

"Hey! Cut that out how would you like it if I poked you in the eye?" Harry said. Draco plopped down beside his husband.

"Deepens what you poke me with." Draco said looking his lips and working his way onto Harry's lap.

"Well, it's getting bigger by the minute." Harry said his voice getting husky.

Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry entangling his fingers in Harry's hair feeling this kiss heat up. Harry's hand were traveling South until they stopped right on his stomach and Harry drew back from the kiss.

"What?" Draco asked.

"What if I...you know...poke it with my...I mean I just." Harry sputtered out.

Draco sighed heavily, "Yah, I know. But I'm already hard."

"You're not the only one." Harry agreed.

"We could just have oral!" Draco said hopefully.

"That'd work." Harry said agreeing.

"Well than what the fuck are you waiting for?" Draco said grinding his erection against Harry's.

Month: 2

"Mother fucker!" Draco cursed.

"What's going on in there?" Harry said getting up from his desk and walking over to their bedroom.

Draco was writhing on the floor trying to button what appeared to be black jeans that clearly not want to button.

"Fucking pants won't fit!" Draco hissed.

"Calm down it's just a pair of pants." Harry said.

"Fuck the pants I'm getting fat and you know it! Look at my hips! Soon I won't fit through a door way!" Draco cursed.

"So?" Harry asked.

"So? SO? LOOK AT ME! I'M A HIPPOFUCKINGPOTAMUS!" Draco yelled.

"Babe..." Harry said lifting his husband off the floor and throwing him onto the bed. "You're being an idiot. That's what happens when you're pregnant." Harry went over a got a pair of Draco's pajama bottoms out of the chest of drawers and handed them to his husband. "Here, put these on you're not going anywhere anyways so just relax, okay?" Harry said giving his husband a quick peck on the check.

Harry sighed on the way back to his desk, this was only the beginning.

Month: 3

"No fucking way. I'm NOT going." Draco said huffing and crossing his arms.

"Why not?" Harry asked.

"Look at me! My hips and ass are huge and I look round not fat. It's obvious I'm pregnant." Draco complained.

Harry took a deep breath, "For the baby?"

"Shut the fuck up. I'm the one carrying it." Draco sneered

"Fine I'll just go. Alone." Harry snapped.

"Then go ahead and leave." Draco said crossing his arms and sitting down on the couch.

"Fine." Harry spat.

"Fine!" Draco shouted as Harry slammed their flat door.

Month: 4

Harry awoke to the fantastical sound of Draco throwing up. For the third day in a row.

The last few days he had gotten up and rubbed his back and tried to block out the view of Draco blowing chunks.

Today, however, he was exhausted and his bed was warm and cozy and the tile floor seemed cruel, evil and a million miles away.

He heard and audible thunk and reluctantly got out of bed to check on Draco.

Draco had fallen over and was now trying to get back up, his belly getting in the way.

"You ok babe?" Harry asked still half asleep.

"Peachy." Draco sneered still rolling around on the floor trying to get up.

"You need help?"

"Fuck you. Yes of course you idiot!" Draco half shouted.

Harry sleepily went over and helped his pregnant and very moody husband get up.

"I was dizzy, incase you gave two shits." Draco sneered.

"I do." Harry yawned.

"I can't wait until this thing is out of me." Draco said sighing and looking at his growing stomach which looked to be about the size of a cantaloupe.

"Me to." Harry agreed sleepily

Month: 5

"Harryyyyy!" Draco whined.

"What now?" Harry asked coming in from the kitchen to the family room where his pregnant husband of two years laid awkwardly sprawled out on the couch.

Draco paused for a moment, "Ice cream and pickles. Don't forget the sprinkles."

Harry sighed, "Of course not love. Why would I forget the sprinkles?"

Month: 6

"I reckon those are all the boxes sirs." The moving man said.

"Here's your pay then." Harry said handing him the money. The burley man counted it for a few seconds and then got in his truck and drove away.

Harry and Draco stood in the middle of their new house surrounded by boxes of their stuff and only 4 months before the baby was due.

The house was 5 bedrooms 6 baths and 4 floors and was settled in the famous and secluded English country side.

"Oh!" Draco said bending over a bit, his hands on his stomach.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked.

"The baby's kicking, here put your hand here." Draco said directing Harry's hand to the same spot. Sure enough the baby was kicking away.

"Maybe he/she'll be a football player." Harry said kneeling down to place a kiss on the spot.

"Maybe." Draco said agreeing running his fingers through Harry's hair.

"I don't really care, I'll love he/she regardless." Harry said.

Month: 7

"Do you want to know if it's a boy or girl?" The healer asked.

Draco and Harry looked at each other.

"I think we want to be surprised." Harry said.

Draco nodded his head in agreement.

After the appointment the pair head to their new home to set up the baby's room in their new countryside manor. After working for a few hours they decided to take a break and Harry ordered Chinese food.

"I got you something." Harry said

"Huh?" Draco said turning to face his baby's father.

"I just thought that you needed a pick me up...so I got you something." Harry said smiling softly.

The doorbell rang before Harry could continue.

"Oh! It's here!" Harry said smiling warmly at a very astonished Draco.

In a trance like state Draco followed Harry to the door and upon opening it he saw his mother standing there.

He hadn't seen her since he and Harry decided to start dating. 5 years ago.

"Hello Draco." She said offering him a small, delicate smile.

"Mo...Mother?" He managed to croak out.

"May I come in?" She asked politely.

"Of course." Harry replied warmly.

Month: 8

"What about this one?" Harry said handing Draco the catalog.

"Merlin no." Draco looked appalled.

"But I like it." Harry insisted.

"I have blonde hair." Draco interjected.

"What?" Harry asked confused.

"Oh sorry, I thought we were stating trivial facts." Draco said.

"Very funny Draco." Harry replied rolling his eyes and wondering why he'd ever married such a pompous git.

"Isn't it?" Draco said smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"No it wasn't." Said Harry

"I thought it was clever." Draco argued.

"Back to the main topic." Harry said, rerouting their conversation.

"I like this one." Draco said pointing to a picture of a crib bedding made with fine silk and cashmere.

"Draco, that's fine silk." Harry pointed out.

"Yes? So?" Draco responded.

"So baby's shit you honestly think spending that much for something that's going to be covered in shit is appropriate?" Harry argued.

"It's my son/daughter. I think it's highly appropriate. Mother, don't you agree." Draco said pulling his mother into the conversation.

"I do, when you were born we paid triple that." She said casually continuing on with her needle work.

"See?" Draco said, trying to prove his point.

"That's ridiculous." Harry argued.

"No it's not, don't you want your child to have the best?" Said Draco.

"Yes, but let's be reasonable-" Harry started to say but was cut off by his mother-in-law.

"I believe he is. If we have the money why not? It is my grandchild as well." She said looking up from her needle work.

"I can't win here can I?" Said Harry, sighing.

"No." Draco said.

"I don't believe so." Narcissa said, continuing her needle work.

"Fine. Go ahead and order it." Harry relented.

Month: 9

"Ow." Draco groaned on the couch.

"Baby kicking?" Harry asked.

"More like throwing a tantrum." Draco said grunting.

"OW!" He yelled doubling over in pain.

"Take me to St Mungo's! OW!" Draco managed to say before another wave of pain hit him.

Harry rushed into action taking Draco's arm around his shoulder and helping his husband into the fireplace and flooing them to St Mungo's.

When they arrived they were immediately taken into the delivery room.

The healers came in, talking amongst themselves for a few minutes. Harry holding onto Draco's hand.

"It's trying to get out through whatever way possible we feel it would be in your husband's best interest to go into surgery where the baby be surgically removed.

"Get the damn thing out of me!" Draco said huffing sweat dripping down his forehead as he clung to Harry's hand.

Next thing they knew the room was being sealed off and charms were being cast. A divider was placed between Draco's upper and lower half.

Harry...MERLIN!" Draco screeched clenching his teeth and gripping Harry's hand with a death grip.

"Just hang on babe it'll be alright everything's fine just hang on." Harry said trying to calm down his husband, who was obviously in a lot of pain. The healers had begun their task of removing the baby and there were only a few small hurtles left.

"OW DAMNIT GET IT OUT!" Draco yelled as his head flung back in pain.

Then they heard it, the audible sound of crying though it didn't sound quite right.

"Harry what's wrong? Something's wrong! HARRY?" Draco said beginning to panic.

"Their just cleaning the baby up, it'll be fine. Everything will be fine."

"It's a girl." The lead healer said and Draco fell back onto the pillow spent.

Harry leaned down and kissed his husband on the head, he was met with steel grey eyes that said "never again".

"Here she is." Came a female healer holding the softly crying baby and handing her to Draco.

"She's beautiful." Harry said smiling.

"What's wrong with her eyes." Draco said panicking.

The lead healer emerged form behind the sheet.

"We don't know how or why, but unfortunately she's blind."

Draco's face fell, it was true her eyes were a very light blue and she seemed to be staring at nothing at all.

"That's alright, you can teach her to play the piano." Harry said pulling the pair into his arms.

"As long as we have each other we'll be fine." Harry said smiling down at his new family as he tried not to cry.


End file.
